girlsdontcry's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another project for myself I don't understand why water at 36C feels perfectly comfortable and nice, but air at 36C makes it impossible to breathe or move or even turn the page of a newspaper. I went with my brother last night to a pub, and it was beautiful out in the beer garden except for this one table full of pissed people just being obnoxious. I was at the bar when the girl was there ordering shots, and then she drank two and threw up at the bar, and stood there looking at me, and I just walked off. I mean, did she think I was going to help her? It was our other brother's birthday yesterday, the autistic brother, and he's so well now, I can't believe how different he is. All that time suffering because no one could believe that you could be autistic AND depressed, when really, it makes complete sense. (And once again, I'd like to point out that he's really autistic, none of this "has difficulty making eye contact" bullshit that seems to define autism these days. Not that I even believe in autism sometimes, but you know ... I mean bashing his head through walls and windows and all that stuff.) Anyway, I feel so guilty about him, because he's just so so happy to have any little bit of contact, and I don't ever phone him or write to him. I mean, I'm so impatient and I find him really trying, even when I'm just with him for a bit when I go to visit, he can just drive me crazy and get me snapping away at him in such a short time (I'm sure I didn't used to be so bad tempered, or maybe I just hid it, I don't know). He's got such a good heart, and he's so easily happy. So I should do something about that. Just send him postcards or something, because I don't like the phone so much these days, and also I never know when to call him, because he's obsessive about going to bed at a certain time and I don't want to ruin any of his routines. OK, I should just do it instead of thinking about it and talking about it, I should just get on with it. I'm going to do that, then. 10:24 a.m. - 2003-08-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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