girlsdontcry's Diaryland Diary

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I did it

Well, kids. I did it.

I made it for forty days and forty nights and I did not drink alcohol and I did not smoke a cigarette, and I did not eat chocolate or have sex or take any illegal substances.

I did not eat cake, although I did break a couple of my original resolutions, like drinking fizzy pop and eating dessert.

And how has it changed my life?

I don't know. I've been drinking already. And I tried to smoke a cigarette but it was horrible. I ate chocolate.

I feel unclean.

It proved to me that I can do something if I put my mind to it.

That feels good.

I think it showed me that if I'm depressed, giving up alcohol is probably a good first move.

Even though I know that when you feel like shit then alcohol seems like the saviour and you don't care if it's a problem.

Not that it was a problem.

I saved money.

I can do things if I put my mind to it.

But it's not the answer to everything.

The guy, the only guy I've ever been in love with is coming here next month.

I finished a book.

Why didn't any of you tell me about The Fuck-Up by Arthur Nersesian?

I needed to know about that book for a long long time and you didn't tell me.

Thanks.

I love yous all.

I want to live a thousand different lives.

I want to talk to Carie and to Jen too. And everyone.

011 44 7941 688 034.

That's me.

12:21 a.m. - 2003-04-21

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