girlsdontcry's Diaryland Diary


Totally addicted to bus

Sometimes, lately, I just don't know what to do with myself.

Today, thinking that I Should Do Something, I went out, to do bits of nothing and it was all frustrating.

I don't know what's come over me, what this new remedy I've been given by the homeopath is, but I'm Miss Confrontational today, shouting at the bus conductor because he let four buses go past before telling us that our bus wasn't going any further, and then at some teenagers who pissed me off, and then at some down-and-out who stumbled out of a minicab office and demanded 15p from me. I know 15p is nothing, but I didn't care that he wanted it, I just wanted to get where I was going fast and then he was calling me a cunt and then he was telling me I'd be sorry, so I lost it and shouted at him "Are you going to hurt me because I didn't give you 15p? You can go FUCK yourself!" waving my arms around like I was a bigger loon than HE was.

So he called me a fat arse and I swear later on I was trying to look at my arse in a mirror thinking "is it big?"

Way to plant a seed, loony 15p man.

So I went to see the new Damien Hirst stuff and I don't know, it's sort of like a cryptic crossword, each of the displays is like ... OK, that's obviously Judas with the noose; that one's upside down, so I guess it's St Peter, but wait, that one is also upside down, so was another one of the Apostles crucified upside down, and what are the spears to signify (they were for Thomas, it clicked in to place later on). I was wishing I knew more about the lives of the Apostles.

Some of it is really violent, the butterfly stuff is beautiful, the cow heads just seem like he didn't really have good ideas for them much. And the the centre piece, the Ascension, it should be really great, but then at the top is something dead! (a stuffed dove)

So I didn't know if that was supposed to be Profound or just not very well thought out, but I thought that it was -- wrong, I guess. Incongruous? Something.

Well, there you go, my 15 pence worth.

Sitting on the bus coming back I was thinking of retorts to the loon: "Maybe I do have a fat arse but at least I'm not a grown man demanding 15p of strangers!" God, that's so lame! Even my post-situation retort was pathetic.

I sometimes feel like I'm only at ease on buses. I know that people who drive around all the time must think that it's completely degrading to have to pile on to a bus with the hoi polloi, but once I'm up the top it's like I'm in a new consciousness. I think I think that I'm invisible up there, and then it's the most fun to look at people down on the ground. It must be like being God and looking down from heaven.

Today I looked down a lot, and I saw that TV psychologist who is always on Big Brother, she has a Greek name and she looks about ten years old, Lynda something maybe?

And then I saw AA Gill, who is currently in trouble with Canada for his article in Vanity Fair, where he slags off Celine Dion. Although I don't know why the Canadians would hate him for that because the article doesn't exactly portray Americans in a good light.

Anyway, AA Gill looked tanned and successful, but he didn't look as if he had anywhere to go, so I think that made me a bit happy because neither did I. So I had an imaginary conversation with AA Gill. I turned to see if he went into the Pizza Express that he was near, but I couldn't see if he did or not.

I'm guessing he didn't.

I'd sort of felt like the day was irritating, and when I was sitting up in my Bus Heaven, I'd looked out to see this couple in their sixties who'd been at a wedding. She had on the most horrendous outfit ever, so I was praying that when she got on the bus she would come upstairs so I could reflect further on how hideous it was.

She didn't come upstairs, but then when I went down to get off, it turned out they were getting off at the same stop! So then I was happy, they walked in front of me and I could admire the horrendousness up close.

(It was a turquoise taffeta suit, with emerald green features, such as bows on the arms. She'd matched it with bright blue shoes and an awful hat that picked out the emerald green of the features, and to confirm it's awfulness, I could see a woman gawping at her as they walked by)

Anyway, I was thinking today about living in London and how the streets are filled with vomit, and about getting drunk, and then when I got home my flatmate left me a note to say they are in the pub.

So now I do have somewhere to go.

How lucky would you have to be to be called Dick Longfellow and then somehow end up in the business of selling penis enhancement products! I guess some people really DO have all the luck.

7:33 p.m. - 2003-09-27


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