girlsdontcry's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Downward dog down the tubes it's all down hill from here I was out with two friends last night. We all used to work together and those two haven't seen eachother in about two years and I see them both quite often, and just sitting there it was like they had all these things in common and I was just ... you know, they were talking about doing yoga and the "downward dog", and what kind of landscape gardener they should get, and their cars and husbands, and one's pregnant and the other one wants to have children too. Their lives are like something out of magazines... different magazines for their different lives that they've lead. They seem so perfect, like they've just done exactly what they're supposed to do, and I feel like I'm just drowning, stuck on "how can I be good?" I wish they could see how I live, they really have no idea. Ugh, where did my life go all so wrong. I mean... is it wrong? It's not like I've got what I wanted, but I don't have what I didn't want. Except of course maybe I have a skin cancer, which I don't want. Only I won't have one if I don't find out, so I haven't found out. I don't feel good about things at the moment, unless I try really really hard to, and then it doesn't last for long. And work today is sucking. One minute I'm being told off for not writing something well enough, and the next I'm being told I oughtn't take more than 10 minutes to do some story, and I mean, WHICH DO YOU WANT? He just copies out entire press releases. And he tells me off for my short sentences, but I get in such a bad mood when he lengthens my intros so that they have clause after clause after ugly clause, so horrible, such BAD writing and then with MY byline on it. While on the subject... I got my byline next to marijuana and The Archbishop of Canterbury... although sadly not in the same story. I feel like I wish I'd not seen them now. I mean my friends last night. It's not their fault they make me feel sad. But I'm going to see D tonight. Although, he's in love, so he's going to seem like an alien to me. He's so in love, after only a couple of weeks. He told me: "I even love his terrible singing, like a cat being repeatedly run over." Aww... that is kind of sweet, isn't it. 11:47 a.m. - 2003-03-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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