girlsdontcry's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whose saliva is it anyway? How awful it is to wake up and not only remember that you gave away a completely adorable and lovely cat called Margot last night, but also find out that you share a birthday with Steven Berkoff. I had tonsillitis this week, but before I realised what it was, I was concerned I had mumps (yes, even though I'd had it as a child and you're not supposed to get it twice, but bear in mind I've been "diagnosed" with chickenpox at least three times and been present as two doctors argued over whether or not it was true that you couldn't get it twice). So I went on the NHS Direct website, to look up mumps and ended up on a trail of various throat problems. When you look up tonsils, it helpfully informs you "the function of these glands is not entirely clear". And whoever has written it has this strange obsession with saliva ownership. For example, in one bit, the site asks: "Is it impossible to swallow your own saliva?" As if it wants to avoid the confusion of patients who will answer the question "is it impossible to swallow saliva?" with the answer "do they mean my saliva or Bill's saliva?" And then in another bit it gets even more complicated, asking if you/the patient can swallow your/their saliva. I also enjoyed NHS Direct's advice on what to do if someone is in a medical emergency. After telling you to dial 999, it offers tips such as: Do everything you can to help the person. Don't give the person anything to eat, drink or smoke. Don't stick anything in their mouth. Which just makes me think that paramedics are sick of turning up to emergencies and finding unconcious patients whose friends have thought it hilarious to stick a pipe in their mouth and then photograph them, instead of performing CPR. Anyway, the tonsillitis is better now, thanks for asking. What the NHS website should've said about it was: take some ibuprofen and eat a bowl of ice cream and your tonsils will return to normal size, at least for a bit. But I'm telling YOU. Don't forget it. 11:01 a.m. - 2005-10-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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